Happy Birthday to me!

It's my 14th birthday and one of my presents to myself is that I'm starting a blog journal! I used to think my life was too dull for a journal or a blog, but then I started reading other people's blogs. Nuff said.

So my first day of high school is tomorrow, but I've had a decent amount of stuff going on to distract me from obsessing over that, including the start of this blog. A couple days ago I dropped my laptop on the floor of my room. Said laptop was close enough to my bed for me to reach to type all this, but not without stretching every muscle in my upper body, so the time it took me to type the following entry was way longer than it should have been, and I swear my arms have permanently stretched out an extra three inches.

The past few days were hectic for me. Between the hassle of ordering and receiving a licensed tail tag for my cat, and stretching to the point of excruciation to type this blog entry, I've been overstressed. I tried to order online from the National Tail Tag Distribution Center, five times in one day, and each time I got an error message saying my order could not be processed due to lack of payment information. I was so frustrated I chewed my laptop cord clear through, and stretched my neck out in the process since I had to twist practically upside down to get to it from my bed. Then I tried to convince my cat to fetch me my cell phone, but I ended up getting up to get it myself.

When I finally got hold of a customer service representative and tried to request a personalized tail tag, every idea I thought of was already taken: Whitey, Whitey Rogers, Jolly’s cat Whitey, The cat belonging to Jolly, Rotten apple core, Purple bedspread, Plate with two cookies and a thousand cookie crumbs on the floor of my room, etc. After a while I began to feel desperate and started suggesting things I saw around my room, which was rough because my suggestions became kind of random, and I’m not usually a random person. Finally, sensing that the customer service representative was beginning to doze, I asked her to suggest an untaken tail tag for me, or rather for Whitey, since it would be very unrealistic to assume that I would wear a tail tag. The customer service representative suggested the tag: I’m a tail. I was desperate enough to feel excited about that suggestion, but I couldn’t help saying, “How about spelling tail T-A-L-E instead of T-A-I-L?” She said no, that one was already taken. I then suggested T-A-E-L, T-A-Y-L-E, and P-T-A-L-E, but she shot me down every time with “Taken.” Finally I gave in, and that’s when she informed me that there was an extra service charge for accepting the customer service representative’s suggested tail tag. I tried to spit on her through the phone, but I think I missed. Anyway, when the tail tag arrived and I had successfully pinned Whitey down to pierce her tail and attach the tag, she looked really cute. The tail tag was worth all the hassle; it was designed to look like ordinary pen handwriting on an ordinary piece of notebook paper, and I swear if I hadn’t paid so much for it I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. This was my other birthday present for myself.

Old people at church have been asking me if I'm prepared for high school. Then I say "Only crucially" and they walk away going "Heh heh" without asking me what the heck I mean. But I'm a very preemptive person. No matter how much kids make fun of me, I can at least brag that my cat wears a costly tail tag.